FEVER pitch.

Staying 24/7 inside the home made me feel like my parents held me a captive of this 2-story hell.

I dunno, but boredom never really get this worse since then. I kept on updating and updating and updating every account I have in the WWW but it seemed really boring and repetitive, though.

I also watched Slumdog Millionaire, Taken, Milk, The Duchess and even POOHKWANG on DVD, but it doesn't even help. LOL

I get lots of amount of sleep these past few days since I always got nothing left to do. [Oh, crap, yeah, I'm slacking off once more! I should be saving those entrance exams books from the realms of the dusty bookshelf.]

But I don't feel like opening them and reviewing, I still felt very low during these times.

I can't get my mind off my grades, fine, I'll be passing and going on for the 4th year in Val Sci, but I still feel they're not going to be good enough to be one of the make of a good college resume .

I dunno, my self-esteem is in it's lowest point right now, maybe because of some factors around me--I don't know what those factors are, but I still keep on believing that I'm not really good enough in every aspect.

It's kinda weird but I think I like the idea of staying out of 'trouble' [i.e. some notorious school people...at least, for me] for a while. Or even the idea that I'm not in school is very calming for me. I like being a homebody, but somehow I still contain this boredom.

Camille's Birthday is a total salvation for the boredom but totally not a cure to my self-confidence issues. My friends are becoming very concerned about these issues that they don't even know what to do to me. It's as if they're thinking more about how to cope with these issues rather than raising my self-esteem, which is a good thing and I appreciate it.

I'm totally blessed because I have Gossip Fille to back me up, but it seems I don't have any space inside me to contain the contentment of what I had. The depression is overwhelming me but I'd rather not to show it. I don't know how I was able to keep everything inside me and trnaslate only here, but I can't show it personally, face-to-face, even with my friends...